There can be light after depression, if you believe…

I am crying tears of joy and need to share.  I have had vertigo on and off for the last three years.

For the last two months, it’s been back only this time, it came with its BFF, the migraine. Of course, this was smack dab in the middle of my deadline to finish the re-write of Gridley Girls. I had to ask for extension after extension and luckily, my new publisher was nothing but wonderful.

For those of you who’ve read my book, you know that it is autobiographical, very personal and difficult for me to write since it’s so emotional. That can be very challenging when you’re one part dizzy and one part head-cracking-wanna-die.

So, two weeks ago, I was at the height of depression, feeling-sorry-for-myself and thinking I’d never finish. My family did all they could do to help, cooking, cleaning and running errands (Baby Girl is now the best shopper ever!) and were even good about making jokes of my depression, “Hey mom, looking good.” when I was in the same clothes for two days with crazy eyed, frizzy hair. All I had was prayer. The meds weren’t working, but I knew, eventually, prayer would, so I stuck with it.

Soon, the migraines ended (thanks Debbie Curcuru) and my meds started kicking in and the vertigo is slowly going away. But my head cleared enough to finish the edits.
I turned them in exactly 9 days ago. I have been praying every day, that my editor will love the changes and that I won’t have much more to do because frankly, while I love the characters in Gridley Girls (how could I not – they are my best friends?) I am SICK of that book and ready to move on!

Today, I received this email from my editor: “You KILLED it (and I mean that in a good way)!
You clearly took all our revision discussions to heart, and the new version is great. I really enjoyed reading it. It’s funny, heartfelt, and sweet. I’ve made just a few nit-picky clarification queries (see attached manuscript), but nothing major.

Let me know if you have any questions, and don’t forget to have some champagne and run a few victory laps around your house. You have earned it!”

Glory Hallelujah! Prayers get answered. Hard work pays off. Depression clears up. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. When we’re in the darkness though, it’s VERY hard to remember that. Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me once again.

I am reminded again, of that morning when I woke up with this message in my head,

“Dear Meredith, When have I ever not provided for you? Love, God”

He always provides.

Now, I wonder if my vertigo will tolerate some champagne?

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